Wednesday, March 19, 2008

shutup or I’ll frost you

My best friend from library school is part of a pair. She is tall, big boned, has thick, wavy red hair, and beautiful white skin with tons of freckles covering her big solid body. Her older sister is short, thin, with corkscrew curled red hair, and the matching white skin and freckles. Both are just beautiful, although I happen to prefer my friend’s bright and generous looks to her sister’s petite ladylike looks. It’s just an aesthetic thing, not a quantitative thing.

So my huge, beautiful friend used to tell her teeny weeny older sister ’shutup or I’ll sit on you!’ I thought that was sooooo funny on so many levels. Like, if I have to be this big I am going to own it, and take advantage of it. And since she was so much bigger than her teeny weeny older sister, it would have been bad news for teeny weeny, too.

So I was cleaning up the mess from my new mania tonight– lemon cutout cookies from the Vegan with a Vengeance cookbook, covered in a mixture of 1/4 c each vegan butter and soymilk, 2 c flour, and a bit of almond flavoring and food color. The colors of the frosting are so deep and so beautiful, and I bought all these beautiful sanding sugars too, and the worst part is, the cookies are so damn good that I have to eat them as soon as I frost them. They are gorgeous, but nobody will ever know because I can’t stop eating them. I’ve made four batches of these cookies since Sunday or Monday. I simply can’t stop.

Tonight I frosted another batch and then finally got a grip and put it all away. I was finally able to do so without having an anxiety attack. I promised myself I can get them out again, any time I need them. I hated to throw the last of the frosting away. I almost couldn’t do it. I could make just one more batch…

So as I cleaned I picked up and brandished my little cheapie frosting squisher from the dollar rack at Tarjay (I need to break down and get a real pastry bag), still full of frosting the blue of Mary’s robes, and thought of all the things I could frost. I could frost my furniture, appliances, walls and floors, my dogs…

Consider yourself warned.

And shutup or you’ll be next.

Currently listening :
yankee hotel foxtrot
By Wilco
Release date: 23 April, 2002