Okay I’ll just tell you.

I usually try to have at least one party during the season. I’m a solstice kind of gal.  And I try to be doing something really special NYE even if it’s just with my little nu ke ler family. But in recent years I haven’t been able to sucker any of my hot mom friends, as my husband calls them, into throwing big glamorous debauched yet child-friendly parties, and last year I seem to remember blogging about my fervent desire for midnight to come so I could go to bed (rest of ’em in there playing World of Warcraft, GET a LIFE!). And this year so many things happened so quickly– I’ll be ready next year, dammit!

So this year I made bird feeders out of peanut  butter, pine cones (ouch, those bitches have spines!) and bird seed with my baby in the a.m., worked in the p.m. and… I should be ashamed, but I guess I’m too old to care… I spent the evening watching the Dog the Bounty Hunter marathon. Yes, I did.

It was on when I got home from work about seven– my husband said he couldn’t turn it off, he’d been watching all afternoon while he was rearranging our living room, getting rid of a bunch of bulky crap since he put the flat screen TV above the fireplace.

We never even turned it off. Could… not… get… away… I did cook supper– made him pause it every couple episodes to take a few more steps toward getting our yummy yummy home made sweet potato rolls and ‘loppy joes’ my kid calls ’em ready, but we didn’t have supper til like nine or ten and then my husband looked at his phone and said we missed it! It’s twelve o three!


This year the house is freakin’ chaos from all the traveling we’ve been doing, and then we threw Christmas and the new TV and my grandma’s shocker, totally unexpected stroke on top. I’m exhausted. I’ve just had it. We’ve had good holidays but not one thing has been the ‘just so’ that I like it to be at this time of year. And yesterday I’d worked six hours straight not one break– you’d be surprised how many people come to the public library on New Year’s Eve. Get a LIFE!

I really enjoyed that stupid show. I couldn’t even summon up any guilt or shame at all. We snorted a little of the champagne we forgot until my husband realized we’d totally missed midnight, watched all the Dogs that were left that we hadn’t seen and one AbFab and went to bed about three.

This is so unlike me.

I am NOT a night person. Staying up late has never been me. I’m evidently going through some life change.

Then, I am all about the ritual, the anticipation of the arbitrary turning points and defining moments each year. And I freakin’ HATE TV. Well I hate it except for Noggin and a few shows I love and wish I could watch but then due to ADD and life in general never can remember to watch them let alone sit still long enough. Honestly, I think we’d all be so much better off without it. I know I am. Or if we could  all just balance electronics consumption with nature consumption and physical exercise consumption, you know?

But every once in a while a show comes along and I can’t tear myself away. I watched Fox constantly while pregnant five years ago, it was the runup to the Iraq war and I was on the edge of my seat. I watched Monarch of the Glen faithfully, it was the highlight of my week–until those bastards killed off Hector– I felt so betrayed!! I’m just glad I didn’t buy it for my grandma!

Then we were horribly addicted to all three seasons of Flavor of Love, had a brief fling with that rock band singer show, watched The Riches until it just ate up my nerves too bad, I loved it so much but I just take TV way too seriously! And we catch up on Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert once every week or two. We do a bit of NetFlix– we just did that Eddie Izzard that isn’t Dressed to Kill and I about fell off the couch laughing– but a movie will come and it will take us weeks to watch it. They are making a bundle off us.

So. Dog the Bounty Hunter. I haven’t had this much trouble turning a show off since we finally realized we’d seen every single episode of Reno 911 at least twice.

The good news is, I think we’ve seen every single episode of Dog now too. Thank God. I don’t have to do that again. And… I love the show, but I noticed he doesn’t pick up any murderers or gangsters– just pitiful, sad people with pitiful problems on the wrong side of the law. And he prays! Out loud!

But I still loved it!

And now I know my summer hairdo will be somewhere between Natasha Bedingfield’s cute blonde shag and Beth’s (Dog’s wife’s) fried white locks. I just dyed it back black and love it, I don’t know why I am even thinking like this!!! Yep, some nice acrylic nails will look good too.

Yes people, I am so tired. I don’t know when I am going to get un tired. Until I do, trivial crap is good.